ryuuzaki's Blog

One of my first reviews for this blog when I began last October was for Saw V.  Ergo, I figured that I should really continue in this vein by reviewing its direct sequel.  As with all of my reviews, this is more of a commentary and so there will be SPOILERS for all six of the films in the franchise thus far.

For the unordained, the Saw films focus around the killings made by a man named John Kramer (nick-named "The Jigsaw Killer" by the media).  Kramer differs from most conventional serial killers in that he does not kill his victims directly.  Instead, he places them within elaborate traps.  Usually, these traps are designed so that if the victim remains stationary they will certainly die, but if they win the "game" (which usually involves maiming themselves in some fashion) they will win their freedom.  The thing that all the victims have in common is that they have all either harmed others or "wasted" their own life in some way.  They are judged by Kramer as he is dying of brain cancer and thus is bitter that people would waste their lives while he is denied of his own.

Kramer died at the end of the third film, and since then punishments have been dealt out by his apprentice, Mark Hoffman, who was also a policeman.  The plot of Saw V revolved around Strahm, an FBI agent who had grown suspicious of Hoffman.  At the end of the film, Strahm is crushed to death leaving Hoffman believing that he has escaped.  However, Kramer did previously state that Hoffman would also be "tested"...

Saw VI carries on directly from the previous installment.  Hoffman has been using Strahm's severed hand to frame the deceased agent by placing his fingerprints at the crime scene.  It is also revealed that Kramer's wife (Jill) has been involved in her husbands "games" all along.  As Hoffman struggles to keep his identity secret as evidence pointing to him begins to stack up; Jill appears to be setting a greater plan into motion which (inevitably) includes the judgment of Hoffman...

On top of this, the latest game is set in motion.  The victim this time is one William Easton - the executive who denied Kramer coverage that could have cured his cancer.  William wakes up to discover that bombs have been strapped to each of his limbs and he must suffer four "traps" to receive the keys for each device and reach the end of the gauntlet within an hour or his family will be killed...

Although this film is hardly high cinema, it's plot is far more enjoyable that then previous two films.  I was, understandably, worried when I saw that it shared writers with Saw IV and V but there was a definite improvement here.  Although still somewhat predictable, the twist was interesting and (unlike the previous two films) I had not guessed it within the first fifteen minutes of the movie.  Although I would have liked a little more closure, I have grown to accept that there will be at least thirty-four films in this franchise and so we're probably a little soon for that.  Besides, we haven't found out what happened to Lawrence (protagonist of the original Saw) yet.

However, let's face it, nobody watches the Saw films for the plots.  It's all about the traps.  I must admit, as a horror movie purist, I preferred the traps of Saw when they were horrible but the violence occurred off-screen.  I think that things are always worse in your mind's eye.  That said, after the sheer gruesomeness of some of the traps in the last few Saw films (I'm looking at you, buzz-saw box) most of these ones were quite tame.  I say most.  I cringed during the first trap which involved people giving their pound of flesh.  If we've all seen Se7en, we know what the obvious thing to sacrifice is.  Very unpleasant.  And the movie decided that we needed a flashback mid-way through to remind us about this trap.  Yay...

Although the traps were less complex this time around, the film makers seemed to want to provide more of a social experiment.  As William (basically) decided who lived or died in his job, the trials he endures forced him to decide between which of his colleagues would live or die.  In this way, it forms a kind of complex, multi-layered version of the Prisoner's Dilemma which (as a Philosophy student) I found most interesting. 

This gauntlet includes in one of my favourite games of the series - the carousel trap.  In this, six of William's colleagues are strapped to a device that resembles a merry-go-round.  Pointing at this trap is a rifle that shoots the person closest to it whenever the carousel stops.  The rifle contains six rounds, all of which will be discharged, but William can save two of them by pressing a button (which injures his hand in the process).  Thus, William is forced to listen to the pleas of the six in order to quickly decide which two are most worthy of life.

Naturally, Saw VI is not perfect.  It's clearly inferior to the first film which still has the best plot by far - it's become a cult classic with good reason.  My major problem with this film is Hoffman.  The writers spent Saw V fleshing out his character and I did really like him.  I appreciated the fact that he evolved from being an vengeful person blackmailed by Kramer into someone who truly believed in what the Jigsaw was doing - basically moving from revulsion to acceptance.  Now, the film-makers try to undo this by proving that Hoffman is the true bastard and Amanda was the more sympathetic apprentice.  The fact that Amanda is now a good apprentice also adds retcons to the movie's retcons and shows that the writers are starting to loose their grasp as they try to make the plot needlessly complex.  This jarred with me a little.  It's kind of nice that the film does keep zooming out and showing us a little more of the bigger picture (kind of like a jigsaw in itself), but I wish it could just decide on personalities for its characters and then stick with them.  Even though the time frame in which Saw III-VI are set is relatively short, the characters seem to change dramatically.

So, this movie ends with us not knowing what Jill's next move will be or whether Hoffman is even going to survive into Saw VII (though I expect he will).  I am still intrigued enough to want to know what happens next.  Due to Kramer's promise that there will be a way out for Jill, I'm already starting to theorize how the next film will end.  Tune in next Halloween to find out if I'm still enjoying this franchise...

Since I'm now living in my own place and have no reason to ever see my former flatmates again, I have placed a link to my blog within my FaceBook profile.  Since I'm not having to live with my tormentor any more, she's welcome now to surf over here and discover what I really think of her.  I view this as the first step towards a more confident Ryuuzaki.

I'm currently enjoying my last few days of freedom before I start my job.  I'm kind of excited and nervous about that.  Excited because I've finally gotten myself a position that is full-time and permanent working for a large company, and nervous because I've had no training and still haven't been told exactly what it is that my job entails.  I posted my contract back to the head office yesterday, so it all should be official by now, and all I have to do is to turn up on Monday morning with my passport, national insurance card, birth certificate and a council tax bill (for proof of address).  Then I finally get to find out what I'm doing for a living.

Today's job is to open up a savings account so that I have something to start building my finances within where I am not tempted to spend it all the time.  I think Vlad and I are going to the movies tonight as (to my shame) I still haven't seen Saw VI.  If I don't see it soon, I may loose my title of "horror movie fanatic" after all.  That said, I am happy to wait as long as possible.  I loved the first film of the franchise but since then it's gone rapidly downhill.  I'm only really sticking with the series because I would like to know how it's (eventually) going to end.

To follow up on my more recent blogs, our new washing machine works and so I've sent off for a one year guarantee for it before anything can go horribly wrong.  Also, many more snail-babies survived then I first believed.  There are only about 10-15 that appear not to have survived the ant attack.  While sad, I am relieved for the 150+ survivors.  Now I just have to find homes for them.  I will (of course) keep a couple.  I am also babysitting two for Monkey who will take them off my hands when she finishes her first year at University.  A friend of Mum's also wants a couple for her infant-school class.  That leaves well over 100 baby snails that need loving parents.  If you live in the UK (due to laws on the handling of live-goods, I cannot send them abroad) and are interested, please send me a note.  I only ask that you pay a little towards the postage and packaging.  Remember: African Land Snails are easy to care for, can live for several years and make great first pets for children.  Also, Christmas is approaching and they would make excellent presents.

Intrigued by a recent Penny Arcade strip, I've been watching the developers' diaries for the Dante's Inferno game that will be released early next year.  From what I've seen, Dante Alighieri must be spinning in his grave...

From the trailers and concept art, it seems fairly faithful in places.  It's disgusting and faintly shocking in places, but that is the nature of Hell.  The poem is disgusting and faintly shocking in places - full of virulent diseases, rivers of excrement and dead babies.  The developer's need to make the game a true vision of Hell means that a lot of this stuff is included.  People are already complaining the "unbaptized baby monsters" that appear in Limbo.  Developers haven't gotten as far as revealing the seventh level of Hell yet, but if the burning sodomites make an appearance I imagine they will receive even more complaints.

I must admit, I have a fondness for the Divine Comedy and really like the way the game looks.  I'll emphasize that word again.  LOOKS.  I do not think I will actually enjoy the so-called plot of the game but it looks the part.  Although the levels of Hell have been simplified and adapted slightly, and the "bosses" reimagined somewhat (as Cerberus has become some kind of mutant tapeworm) they are still true to the poem in essence.  The second level still is plagued with a tempest, and the fifth level still contains the river Styx and the City of Dis.

However, the plot is laughable.  You're probably aware that the Divine Comedy was written in the 14th Century and is both a lamentation that Dante never met with the woman of his dreams, and a metaphor for his exile from Florence.  Thus, Dante travels (reluctantly) through Hell with Virgil as his guide, until he can meet with Beatrice and continue his journey through Purgatory and finally reach Paradise.

The game transforms Dante into a crusader who has committed every sin (revealed in a tapestry which he has sew onto the skin of his chest) who pursues Beatrice into the depths of Hell where Lucifer seems to be making her into his bride while also poisoning her mind to Dante.  Armed with Death's scythe and a magical crucifix, Dante battles his way through Hell to finally reach Cocytus where (presumably) Lucifer and Beatrice wait.  Confirmed bosses thus far include Charon, Minos, Cleopatra and Cerberus.

I'm not sure what made anyone sit down and read the Inferno just to think "hey, this is a great idea for a video game".  What part of this characterization of Dante sounds like a good idea?  I don't know whether to laugh or cry thinking about it.  Yeah, I will probably play this game no matter how bad it ends up, purely because the level and monster design is rather inspired, but I really think that they could have thought up a better plot for the game than this...

If you're really interested in seeing more, here's the official site --> www.dantesinferno.com/home.action

In honor of the arrival of our second washing machine, I thought I would dedicate a blog to cataloging the Washing Machine Saga in full.  'Tis truly an epic tale of biblical proportions after all.

As you may remember, when Vlad and I moved house at the end of August we were moving from student accommodations into a house that had nothing what-so-ever.  As my mother is also selling her house at the moment, we did inherit a lot of her old furniture (including a sofa, an arm chair, a kitchen table with four chairs and two single beds).  However, we had to buy all of the white goods for the kitchen as we all we previously owned was a microwave.

Thus, the day that we moved (August 26th) we ordered a gas oven and refrigerator from Comet, and a double bed and washing machine from Argos.  We had to order everything for home delivery as neither of us can drive.  All of the items were supposedly going to come within a week.

Sure enough, we received the order from Comet within this time frame.  Argos, however, sent us an email to say that our goods had been delayed and so we would not receive them until October 2nd.  Annoying, but we had a laundrette at the end of the street and the single beds so we could at least cope.

The following week, the laundrette was vandalized and so we were forced to start using a different one that was over a mile away.  This is a long way to heave your laundry when there is no bus service going in that direction.  But still, we coped.

On October 2nd, we were phoned by Argos to say that there had been another delay and that we would not get our items until November 2nd.  We were annoyed about this and intended to phone up and cancel our order, but then received a second call later that night to say that our order had arrived in the store and we would receive it the following day.

Here's where the story gets more complicated.

The washing machine arrived and Vlad installed it.  We tested it with a load of our unwashed bath towels only for the machine to breakdown mid-cycle.  A flashing red light told us that the motor had overheated and we needed to call an engineer.

Now very angry, I phoned Argos and was on hold for 45 minutes while I waited to complain.  They said they would contact Norlec - evidently an engineer's firm - who would then contact us within three days to arrange a time to repair our machine.  I told the Argos people exactly what had happened so that they could notify the engineers of the precise nature of the problem.

The Norlec lady phoned us the next day to say that the engineer would be around at 10.30am the following day.  I explained that both my partner and I would be at work at that time and she responded (very rudely) that if one of us was not in the house then they would phone Argos back and say that we were unprepared to have our washing machine fixed so there was nothing that they could do.  As I had only been working for a week and thus had built up no holiday time, Vlad had to phone in sick that day in order to be in the house.

The Norlec engineer came, having not been told the nature of the problem, and thus had no parts to fix it.  He told Vlad that it would take him three more weeks to get the parts in.  Vlad said that there was no need as we'd just call Argos and get them to take the washing machine back, but the Norlec man responded that this was not possible as Argos had no return policy for white goods, thus we'd have to wait for it to be repaired.

I was reasonably sure that this was untrue, as how could they refuse to take back and item of their's that had broken down as soon as I had turned it on?  I was, of course, correct.  Argos offered to replace the machine, but I told them that I'd rather they just took it away and refunded me my money.

Thus, last Wednesday when Argos finally did give me my money back, I went on the Comet website and ordered a washing machine from them instead.  It's a different model to the Argos one and did cost me £20 more, but I've just been put off ever ordering from Argos again.  The new washing machine just arrived and so Vlad will be able to plumb it in when he gets back from work.  Hopefully, this one will not breakdown and so we'll never have to walk to the laundrette again...

I found out where our ant infestation originated.  Within a packet of spaghnum moss that I had on the side in our living room.

How I discovered this was shortly after I had put new bedding in the snail tank, only to open it and find Byron and Shelley cover in red ants.

Vaguely traumatic.

I've been bitten numerous times trying to rescue the babies.  Now the snails are going to have to survive in a tank full of damp kitchen roll until their new bedding arrives.  I can't tell how many baby casualties there have been.  I'll feed them some lettuce later and try to assess the damage...

SPOILERS lie below...

Continuing my pre-Halloween viewing of low-budget horror films, I rewatched Phantoms today.  I hadn't seen that film for years and all I could remember was that it was a Silent Hill-esque deserted town affair and featured an attack by a giant moth.  Although mildly entertaining in places, the film irked me.  It's a prime example of how potentially good ideas can be ruined by poor pacing.

I'm not going to review Phantoms because it really isn't worth the effort.  It's basically a film about two women who drive into a town to discover that all the townsfolk are either dead or missing.  They're then forced to survive (along with the town's sheriff) and a few others as things get increasingly weird.

Basically, it becomes apparent that it is a large creature that is to blame for everything.  This creature is like a cross between the monsters featured in The Thing, It and At the Mountains of Madness.  It's a shapeless monstrosity that has lived beneath the surface of the Earth for centuries and is responsible for all of the unexplained mass-disappearances such as the death of the dinosaurs and Roanoke. 

It also absorbs knowledge from the creatures that it eats, and so knows everything that its victims does.  This has made it self-aware.  As humans view animals as inferior; it holds the same perspect of the human race.  We are either "cattle" for the slaughter, or pets for its own amusement.  It has also come to believe that it is Satan and its arrogance becomes its undoing as it believes that (as a God) it cannot be destroyed.

This, I think, is quite an intriguing idea for a creature in a movie.  However, it is woefully under-used.  The major problem with Phantoms, is that it is so poorly paced that it is boring.  There are a few scenes that, in any other film, would be shocking.  The creature (called the Ancient Evil) loves to torture its pets.  Early on there are some great horror scenes, such as a one in a bakery, that are really quite fun.  However, there is no build-up at all.  The two main characters discover the town is deserted within the first five minutes of the movie.  After this, they switch between locations so quickly that there is absolutely no time for tension to build.  In turn, there is also no time for any characterization.  The two women are, simply, sisters.  Ben Affleck's character has a little 'quirk' in the fact that he once accidentally shot a small child but other than this is just a typical (albeit strangely young) town sheriff.  Liev Schreiber's character is randomly crazy, but it's not explained why (or how he's gotten a job as a deputy despite being so unstable) leading me to assume that he is just an utter bastard.  Things are made worse by the fact that none of this characters have much personality and so I didn't especially care whether they lived or died.

Conversely, the second half of the movie is far too slow.  Once Peter O'Toole's character arrives in the town we are treated to a couple of long, boring scenes in which the surviving characters decide to sit and discuss the nature of the creature.  The Ancient Evil does communicate with them during this, and I hoped this would lead to some kind of banter with it, much in the vein of Sphere, but no.  The creature merely expressed a desire for the world to embrace it as the Devil and our heroes conveniently had the means by which to kill it and swiftly do so.

I already expressed that this movie was similar to The Thing, It and Sphere (with elements of Alien thrown in for good measure).  All of these are enjoyable films that I would have much rather been watching.  These films are good for a reason.  They pace themselves well interspersing character development and relevant filling with action.  Phantoms unfortunately failed the pacing 101 exam and thus wasted some interesting ideas and interesting moments by just being too boring overall.

Anyway, my stock of Halloween movies left for the next week includes Crooked House, Braindead and Phantasm so at least I have some enjoyable stuff left for my favourite week of the year.

Following the nightmarish work experience that I unfortunately suffered two days ago, I have managed to get a real job!  As of the first Monday of November I will be working a happy 9-5 deskjob for Capita - an insurance broker who's Norwich office is a mere 30 minutes walk from my home.

I'm not entirely sure what this job will entail but I now believe that anything is better than door-to-door sales and I'm sure I'll figure it out pretty quickly.  It's also a permanent full-time position so I don't have to worry about temping anymore.

Hooray!  In a month's time I'll have an income again!

Hi guys.  Have I got a story for you...

I went to a job interview on Tuesday.  It was another one of Reed's "mystery interviews" but it turned out to be for a company that markets Talktalk broadband.  The interview went incredibly well and I was told to come back the following day (yesterday) for a Day of Observation to see if I was suitable for the job.  I was told to dress smartly, wear sensible shoes and be at the office for 12.30pm.  I would then be taken around by an administrator and would be able to go home at 8.30pm after a short interview.

It sounded great, and there were hints that I would get the job, so I turned up to discover that I would start out doing direct marketing.  I asked what this meant and was told that it meant communicating with customers directly, rather than via advertising.  This sounded just like what I wanted to do, but I was kind of surprised when I was taken away from the office, bundled into a car and told I was going to spend the day in Great Yarmouth - slightly confusing, as I'd been lead to believe that I would be based in Norwich.

It turned out that the direct marketing that I would have had to do for the first year of employ was door-to-door sales - something that I have a few moral qualms about doing as I dislike door-to-door salesmen vehemently.  But I decided to stick it for a while to see what they did, making quite clear that the Day of Observation was as much for me as it was for them so I would not guarantee anything.  The day that followed was awful and utterly put me off my job.

Employees at this level are only paid based on commission.  You may have a great week and sell lots of internet, but it's equally as likely that you will sell none and receive nothing.  I would be expected to travel all over Norfolk (and occasionally go on road-trips around the rest of the UK) and would not be reimbursed for my travel to do so.  Ergo, I could easily have to fork out £30 for a train ticket to then make no money that day to cover it.

Worst of all, in order to complete a sale, I would have to go into people's houses to finalize their details and check their phone line.  I'm a 22 year old girl.  I have more commonsense than to just go walking into stranger's houses.  I just would not feel safe having to do that, especially as the guy showing me the ropes said that they mainly focus on poorer areas (which are unsafe anyway).

So my experience of yesterday was seven hours (with no breaks) of walking around a strange town in the pouring rain wearing my best formal clothes (luckily, I had brought an umbrella but had no smart coat so was just in a linen shirt) to knock on 300 or so doors just to make 2 sales.  I was soaked to the skin within minutes, had lost all feeling in my extremities within the first hour and was threatened with bodily violence once due to a rude remark made by the supervisor that badly offended a prospective client.  I just felt like giving up immediately and going off to have a good cry.

I also hated the supervisor vehemently.  I rarely take an instant disliking to someone, but he was so rude to both his colleagues and the customers (he claimed he was being charming, though personally I couldn't see it).  I just don't think I could have stomached working with that prat, let alone being forced to repeat that job every day for a year on the off-chance that I'd get promoted at the end of it.

So, feeling a bit bummed out and suffering a slight fever, I've decided to do my job hunting for the day online and not venture out again until Friday...

Hello, and welcome to the final part of my Halloween special Hellraiser review.  To recap on the previous few weeks, I first focused on the novella on which the series was based - The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker – which I truly think is a modern horror masterpiece.  From this, I moved onto the four films of the franchise that earned a cinematic release.  The first two of these – Hellraiser and Hellraiser II:  Hellbound were both very original and highly entertaining films that were very enjoyable to watch.  Although Hellraiser III:  Hell on Earth and Hellraiser IV:  Bloodline did further develop the plot threads of the first two films, they were particularly bad films.  The ideas that seemed to make sense in Hellbound became very confused and it seemed that the Cenobites were much more interesting creatures when we knew less about them.

So this week, I shall move onto the final four films of the franchise.  These movies were released directly to DVD, but surprisingly are largely more entertaining than Hell on Earth and Bloodline.  I say ‘largely’ as you will shortly become aware of the horror that is Hellraiser VII: Deader.  The important thing that you need to know about these four films is that they are largely stand-alone titles.  The only one that really refers back to the previous four is Hellraiser VI:  Hellseeker.  All the rest can be easily understood even if you only have a vague understanding of what the Cenobites and Lament Configuration are.

Anyway, let’s crack on with this review.  As you’ve probably guessed, there will be SPOILERS so you may want to stop reading now:

Hellraiser V:  Inferno (2000)

The protagonist of Inferno is one Detective Joseph Thorne – a man who is really good at solving puzzles but is otherwise an utterly irredeemable bastard.  Thorne beats informants, snorts cocaine, sleeps with prostitutes and neglects his wife and young daughter.  See, completely detestable man.

Anyhow, Thorne and his partner (Nenonen) are called to the scene of a brutal murder.  The victim is a man that Thorne went to high school with, although he professes to not knowing him that well.  At the scene, they discover the Lament Configuration and a severed child’s finger.  The finger is so freshly cut that they speculate that the child was still alive when it was removed.

Later that night, Thorne sits in a motel bathroom after sleeping with a prostitute and messes around with the Lament Configuration.  After opening it, he has a vivid nightmare where he encounters Pinhead and a handful of other Cenobites.  He wakes up and runs to work, leaving the prostitute sleeping.

While at work, he gets a phone call from the prostitute even though he did not give her his number.  She is terrified of something and it sounds as though she is being murdered while she is talking to him.  Thorne and Nenonen rush back to the motel to find the prostitute very dead and another child’s finger lying along-side the body.  Realising that he now has links with both murders, Thorne threatens Nenonen saying that he will frame him for the murder (effectively destroying his career and marriage) if he does not help to wipe down the motel room.  Reluctantly, Nenonen agrees to help.

Later, Thorne meets with an informant and is told that he has become the latest plaything of a psychopath known as the Engineer, who favours torturing his victims by attacking their friends and family.  Later, Thorne receives a video tape of the Engineer murdering the fore-mentioned informant.  The murder appears to be an amalgamation of the Cenobites that Thorne saw in his dream.  When he comes to show this tape to his colleagues he discovers that it is blank and begins to worry about his sanity.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, Thorne eventually comes face-to-face with Pinhead and discovers that since opening the box he has been in his own personal Hell and the Cenobites have been torturing him for the horrible way in which he lived his life.  He also discovers that, no matter how he dies, he always wakes up back in the motel bathroom before the prostitute’s death.  Thus, he’s doomed to relive his hunt for the Engineer over and over again.

I must admit that I really like Inferno.  In fact, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.  Unlike the other Hellraiser movies which are straight horror-films, Inferno feels much more like a psychological thriller.  It’s still very nasty in places, but a lot of the violence occurs off-screen.  Although the twist is fairly easy to guess, it’s kind of nice for them to attempt a twist as the other Hellraiser movies didn’t really go in for this.  It was also interesting that, although I really despised Thorne at first, you actually start to like him (or at least feel sorry for him) towards the end when he realises all-too-late the error of his ways. 

The thing that I liked most about this was that the Cenobites barely feature.  They’re still integral to the plot of the film, but they’re once more mysterious creatures.  I felt that in focusing heavily on them in the previous two instalments, they lost some of their intrigue.  However, there are some problems with their portrayal.  The Hierophants of the Order of the Gash appear to have gone.  They no longer seek to educate people in their higher pleasures.  Instead, they’re here to dish out punishments to wicked people who solve the Lament Configuration.  Basically, although it was originally kind of ambiguous as to what exactly the Labyrinth was, it now appears as though we’re supposed to accept that it is a Christian Hell and that the Cenobites are just demons.

But still, in my opinion, Inferno is definitely one of the better Hellraiser films even though it is a little slow in places.

Hellraiser VI:  Hellseeker (2002)

As I already mentioned, Hellseeker is the only one of the direct-to-DVD releases that really refers back to the events of the first four films.

The protagonist here is Trevor, husband to Kirsty Cotton (the heroine of Hellraiser and Hellbound).  The film begins with them getting into a bad car accident and winding up in a river.  Although Trevor manages to escape, the car door locks behind him and he is forced to watch Kirsty drown.

Trevor then wakes up in hospital.  It seems that it is a month after the accident and Trevor has been having memory problems and headaches due to an injury his sustained in the crash.  He quickly discovers that his memory of the accident is flawed, as he told police that Kirsty drowned only for them to discover the car with both doors open and Kirsty nowhere to be found.  Thus, while the main detective believes that Trevor’s memories are just muddled; his partner is convinced that Trevor is lying and has actually murdered Kirsty.

Things also begin to get weirder for Trevor.  He remembers himself as being a loving husband to Kirsty and yet advances made to him by three women (his boss, his neighbour and his acupuncturist) begin to imply that he was having multiple affairs.  He’s also repeatedly approached by a colleague who talks about a plan that the two of them made together, though Trevor has no idea what this is.

Suddenly, the women begin to get picked off by Cenobites one by one, and when Trevor discovers an old business card that is labled “all problems solved” he begins to remember what really happened.  Trevor (like Thorne in the previous film) was a horrible bastard.  He was cheating on Kirsty and he had just discovered that Kirsty had inherited a fortune from Frank (see review for Hellraiser).  Therefore, he and his colleague from work intended to murder to Kirsty and claim this money for themselves.  It was around this time that Trevor was approached by the puzzle guardian and given the Lament Configuration.  Trevor forces Kirsty to solve it and (naturally) Pinhead appears to finally claim her soul.  However, Kirsty strikes a deal with him.  Five souls for her’s.

Naturally, Pinhead accepts, and Kirsty murders the three women and Trevor’s colleague.  The movie ends with the revelation that the final soul was Trevor’s and the cause of the accident at the start was really Kirsty shooting Trevor in the head.  The film ends with us seeing Kirsty walking away from the scene with the Lament Configuration in hand.

Stylistically, this film is incredibly similar to Inferno.  Although there are more Cenobites in this one (marginally) it is still more of a psychological thriller than a horror film.  Unfortunately, it is really too similar to the previous film.  The twist (that the protagonist has really been in Hell all along) is exactly the same and the influence of Jacob’s Ladder is far to obvious.  Yes, Jacob’s Ladder is a brilliant and iconic film but everyone rips it off – especially the hospital scene.  Sometimes, I wish that people would look a little further for inspiration.

However, my biggest problem with Hellseeker is Kirsty.  I liked her as a heroine in the first two films as I found her a realistic character.  She wasn’t insanely brave, but was willing to risk her life if it meant protecting the people that she cared about.  However, in this she’s totally changed.  Fair enough, Trevor intended to murder her, but why did she open the box?  Why did she willingly murder all those people (the women weren’t intending to murder her, after all)?  Just why?  It seems so out of character.

However, Hellseeker was fairly enjoyable and seems even better when you compare it to its sequel.

Hellraiser VII:  Deader (2005)

God, I don’t want to review this film.  I’d be happier pretending that it doesn’t exist…

The protagonist here is Amy Klein, a Gonzo-style journalist who has achieved popularity for her exposés of drug dens.  Her editor shows her a video tape of what he wants her to write her new article on.  The video shows the activities of a cult who call themselves “the Deaders”.  In it, she sees a young woman reject life by shooting herself in the head before the cult’s leader (Winter) seemingly resurrects her.

Thus, Amy travels to Budapest to meet with Marla (the last journalist to encounter the Deaders).  Amy discovers Marla dead in her apartment along with a video tape and the Lament Configuration.  The tape is a video of Marla warning whoever finds it to be wary of Winter and to neither solve the puzzle box themselves nor give it to him.  It also outlines how to contact the Deaders.  Naturally, Amy immediately solves the puzzle box and has a vivid vision of Pinhead warning her that she is in great danger.

Anyway, Amy locates the Deaders’ hideout and meets with Winter who explains how neither he nor his cult members can open the Lament Configuration but they desperately wish to do so.  He nearly influences Amy to join them but she manages to escape.

Later that night, Amy wakes up to discover that she has been mysteriously stabbed in the back with a very big knife and it doesn’t hurt at all.  Yes, that’s right, she’s somehow become a Deader.  So she returns to Winter who tries to convince her again (using visions of Amy’s abusive father) to take her own life and become one of them proper.  Before she can do so, the box randomly pops open and the Cenobites appear.  For some reason, it is revealed that Winter was a descendant of L’Merchant (see review of Bloodline) but this doesn’t matter as all of the Deaders are killed.  However, Amy does not want them to have her soul so kills herself to prevent the Cenobites from taking it.  The film ends with the editor sending another journalist out on the same mission.  Although this makes no sense to me, some fans speculate that he’s actually after the Lament Configuration for himself.

This movie sucks, plain and simple.  Firstly, it’s the only film that really has nothing to do with Hellraiser.  It’s like someone said “hey, we have this script for a crappy horror film.  Let’s add a puzzle box and a random reference to Bloodline and call it Hellraiser – then we can sell it better!”.  In fact, I expect that’s exactly what happened.  The Cenobites and the box are completely insignificant to the story and it’s never even explained why Winter can raise the dead – it’s sure not a power that the other of L’Merchant’s descendents have exhibited.  Personally, I would rather watch paint dry than see this film again.  Looking at the credits, it’s written by the same guy who wrote Hellseeker.   I already explained how this guy seems to have misunderstood the character of Kirsty.  Now he seems to have forgotten how the franchise works all together.  Thankfully, he did not write the film that I am going to review next, so here’s my views on the final part of the franchise.

Hellraiser VIII:  Hellworld (2005)

Hellworld provides us with an entirely different view of the Hellraiser universe.  A group of friends (Chelsea, Jake, Derrick, Allison, Mike and Adam) are all addicted to an MMO called Hellworld – a game that is loosely based on the events of the first film.  At the beginning, we see that Adam has become so addicted to Hellworld that he immolates himself to give his soul to the Cenobites.  At his funeral, his friends regret that they did not see this coming (though Chelsea and Jake seem more upset about this than the others).

Anyway, two years later they are still all playing Hellworld (for some reason) and win invites to a private party at a mansion that was supposedly designed by L’Merchant.  The mansion had been used for many things over the years, including an asylum, and contains many rooms (such as the swinging meat hook room) that we can imagine uses for later.  Anyway, the host of the party (played by the ever awesome Lance Henrikson) gives each of the attendees a mobile phone to communicate with other guests and a mask to hide their identities if they want to get it on with strangers.

So the party goes on.  I can’t really remember the sequence of events here but each of the friends gets separated.  Allison is virtually decapitated when the host traps her in some weird torture chair.  Derrick has an asthma attack and, while searching for his lost inhaler, gets decapitated by Pinhead.  Mike ends up in the fore-mentioned swinging meat hook room and we can all guess what happens to him.

Eventually, only Chelsea and Jake are left.  Chelsea tries to contact the police but discovers that although they can hear her they cannot see her.  Chased by Cenobites (including pseudo-cenobite versions of Allison and Mike) and a brutally burnt (Cenobite?  Ghost?) who they believe is Adam, eventually Jake sets on the idea that they’re only being hurt by these creatures because they believe in them.

They are awoken from this illusion when they are rescued by the police.  It seems that early in the party they were all drugged by the host who then buried them alive behind the house.  A mobile phone next to each of them was used to supply their subconscious with suggestions.  Consequentially, Derrick, Allison and Mike all died of fright (or fright-induced-asthma).  Only Allison and Jake survived.  It is also revealed that the host was actually Adam’s father who blamed the friends for the death of his son.  Chelsea wonders who could have contacted the police regarding their location (as the host has apparently fled the scene) and we briefly see Adam’s ghost watching them from the window of the mansion.

Anyway, cut to the host in a motel room.  While messing around with the Lament Configuration (which is son actually did own, it turns out) he manages to summon the Cenobites who promptly tear him apart.

Finally, as Jake and Chelsea drive away, suddenly the host’s ghost appears in the back seat of the car and almost causes them to crash.

Yeah, you may be able to tell that Hellworld is not the best film in the franchise, but it’s sure as Hell (no pun intended) better than Deader.  Basically, Hellworld is your run-of-the-mill slasher film.  The Cenobites barely appear and are out of character up until the end as they are just hallucinations in the minds of impressionable teenagers.  Although Lance Henrikson is (as always) brilliantly creepy as the host, it never really feels much like a real Hellraiser film because the atmosphere is just all wrong.  To appreciate it as a slasher film though, it is quite fun.  The twist was really out-there, and it was a lot better than the Friday the 13th and Halloween sequels.  It was nice to have a lot of the Chatterer around too.  Clearly, the TV was listening to my protests that we hadn’t seen much of the Chatterer since his “death” in Hellbound.  If you couldn’t guess, he’s my favourite Cenobite.

I know a lot of fans consider this to be the worst film due to the fact that it’s completely removed from the style of the other films.  To those fans I say “honestly, did you even see Deader?”.  Yeah, Hellworld is very different and isn’t the best of the Hellraiser films, but it’s very unique and an interesting twist on the universe.  Like Deader, it was also unnecessary and could have worked equally as well with the Hellraiser gimmicks removed, but I stand by my judgement as it was kind of fun.

Conclusion:

Anyway, that’s the end of my Halloween Special Review.  I hoped you enjoyed these four blogs.  With the exception of Deader, I enjoyed creating them.  I hope you all have a fun and safe Halloween, and remember to support horror films by heading out to watch Saw VI when it’s released next week.  I know I will.

Just to finish, here’s my list of Hellraiser movies in order of enjoyment.  Your list may differ, this is purely my opinion:

Hellraiser

Hellraiser II:  Hellbound

Hellraiser V:  Inferno

Hellraiser VI:  Hellseeker

Hellraiser VIII:  Hellworld

Hellraiser IV:  Bloodline

Hellraiser III:  Hell on Earth

Hellraiser VII:  Deader

I woke up today to see my Facebook page inundated with spam from Lush to defend their decision to support guerrilla groups who sabotage fox hunts.

As you're probably aware, fox hunting in Britain is considered by (mainly the uber rich) to be some kind of macabre sport.  Foxes are chased down by specially trained dogs and men on horseback until they are too exhausted to run any more and then they are usually torn to shreds.

Obviously, most of us rational-minded people consider the sport to be barbaric and believe that if we ban cock fighting and bear bating then we should also ban fox hunting.  I grew up in a rural area and do believe foxes to be vermin.  They're very beautiful, but a single fox can easily wipe out an entire chicken coop.  Farmers need to exterminate foxes if they're killing off their livestock.  However, it's a lot more human just to shoot the foxes and kill them instantly than for chase them down for hours and then allow dogs to savage them. 

However, most of us rational-minded people also don't support the guerrilla groups.

You all know the sort of "charities" that I mean.  These are the kind of people who would actually hurt other people in order to get their message across.  They work by sabotaging equipment that can inevitably lead to injury or death.  I have a friend who works as a vivisectionist and she is forced to endure protests by these people on a daily basis.

Which brings me to my thoughts on Lush now.  I admire Lush as a company as they are constantly raising money for a variety of different environmental charities (as I, myself, support the WWF it is something that I believe in).  However, I don't like the fact that they've broken away from more respected charities to support violent ones.  I also have a great pity for their workers.

Lush shops have recently been targeted by people who support fox hunting.  The shops have been vandalized and the workers threatened.  Lush says that it's not withdrawing its support of these guerrilla groups in light of the threat.  Sure, you shouldn't back down to bullies, but this decision is being made by higher ups and they really need to think of the safety of their staff.  Would you want to work somewhere where you were being threatened with bodily violence?  I know I wouldn't.  They didn't pick to work in Lush to support a ban on fox hunting.  It's not like Lush itself is actively involved in these groups.  I just think that there are better (and safer) charities that Lush could choose to support - ones where their staff would be in no danger for them doing so...

Anyway, that's my views on the subject...

Vlad is off to the last 'Mage' of the year.  Mage is this live action role-play (LARP) event that Vlad is very fond of.  It's quite light-hearted and usually seems to end with the world being destroyed.  This time, Vlad is role-playing as a Hunter S. Thompson inspired drug addict.  I've sent him off with his prop - a small plastic bag filled with thyme.  I'm waiting for the phone call to say that he's been arrested for drug dealing...

I just had the mystery interview.  It turned out to be at a place called "Sackville Place Business Park" and it was probably one of the more interesting experiences of the last few weeks.

Sackville, it turns out, is an area that is so close to my home that I must have walked past it a hundred times and never noticed it.  If you're ever in Norwich, you should try and find it, or maybe it just appears magically.  Halfway down Magdalen Street there is a small arch with "Sackville" written over it.  The building through there is an old Victorian red-brick affair that ranges somewhere between the workhouse from Oliver Twist and Gormenghast mansion on the creepy scale.  Inside, however, it is an incredibly modern building compromising of offices belonging to many different businesses.

My interview, it turned out, was for a job in sales and marketing offered by Marketing Enterprises UK, the people who run the advertising campaigns for Sky TV and American Express amongst others.  As the other people at the interview all had great qualifications, I'm not that hopeful.  It wasn't a real interview but a screening process.  I'll find out if I've been shortlisted for a proper interview by Monday tea-time.

But still, it was a great experience just to learn of that awesome building's existence.  Must remember to go back and photograph it at some point!

Oh, also, Aviva emailed me back today.  Apparently, I have lots of strengths but none that are suited to the job that I applied for with them.  Also, I shouldn't be detered from applying for different roles with them in the future.  Oh well...

I got a phone call today congratulating me for being shortlisted for a job.  Unfortunately, nowhere in the conversation did they tell me the name of the company.  I know it must have been one of the ones that I applied for on the Reed website, and that it's in an office, but other than that I have no idea what the company is or what I will have to do if I get the job.  I have to meed the MD on Friday afternoon.  Could be interesting...

Not sure how my phone interview with Aviva went on Monday but they told me that I'd find out the outcome within the week.  I had my interview with Gamestation today which went so/so, but I had to point out to them that I needed full-time employ or I would be unable to accept so I doubt I'll hear from them.  Tomorrow is Capita, for which I have to take a short exam which is a terrifying concept.  Then Friday is the mystery job interview.

I also think that I may have asthma.  I've been getting out of breath while walking a lot lately and often get a weird tightening sensation in my chest.  I have to make time inbetween interviews to have a check up...

Hello.  As I'm still waiting for Aviva to call me, I thought I'd write this week's installment of my Halloween Special 4-part review of the Hellraiser franchise.  I don't think that anyone's actually reading these, but what the Hell, I'm not going to be deterred from writing them!

As always, there will be SPOILERS so read on at your own risk.

Anyway, as I said in the previous review, this week I'll be focusing on the first four Hellraiser films.  These are Hellraiser, Hellraiser II:  Hellbound, Hellraiser III:  Hell on Earth and Hellraiser IV:  Bloodline.  These were the only films of the franchise to achieve cinematic release and do vaguely follow on from one another in terms of plot.  So, starting with the first and best film, here's my review:

Hellraiser (1987)

If you want to know the plot of the original Hellraiser film, please look back to the previous review.  Hellraiser is a very faithful adaption of Clive Barker's The Hellbound Heart.  There are only a few minor changes to the story.  Kirsty's father has been renamed 'Larry' and (thankfully) the hints that Kirsty has the hots for him have been removed.  The Lamarchand Configuration is called the Lament Configuration and looks far more ornate than it is described as being in the novella.  It is also opened, rather than dismantled, in order to summon the Cenobites.  The most striking difference is that Pinhead is clearly the leader of the Cenobites that appear in the movie, rather than the creature with hooks holding back its eyelids and lips who is the leader in the book.

Other than this, the story is still the same.  Frank opens the box and gets dragged into the Cenobite's world (which is, arguably, Hell).  Larry's blood somehow summons him back to the real world.  Julia lures in victims for Frank to devour to become whole again.  Kirsty finds out about this, opens the box, and strikes a deal with Pinhead in order to return Frank's soul to the Cenobites.

I love this movie.  Other than one or two parts where the special effects and puppetry has not aged well, it's still fantastically creepy and an enthralling horror movie.  My only objection to it, compared to the book, is that the Cenobites seem somehow less honorable.  At the end of the novella, when Kirsty successfully delivers Frank to them, they keep their word and let her escape.  In the film, they continue to chase after her and she is forced to close the box on them to cause them to disappear from the human world before they can get their hooks into her.  Not much of a criticism, but as I said in my previous review one of the things that I liked about the Cenobites as monsters was that they were reasonable creatures.

So, as most of my comments from the review of The Hellbound Heart also pertain to this film I don't have much more to add.  Ergo, let's move on to the first sequel.

Hellraiser II:  Hellbound (1988)

Hellbound carries on exactly where the first film left off.  Kirsty is institutionalized because of her raving about Cenobites and puzzle boxes.  She relates her story to Dr. Chanard and his orderly, Kyle, but it seems to fall on deaf ears.  Kirsty also begins having dreams that her father is still alive, but trapped in the Cenobite world and begins to wonder how she can save him.

Meanwhile, Kyle rapidly discovers that Kirsty has been telling the truth.  He discovers that Chanard owns several Lament boxes but cannot figure out how to open them.  He has also stolen the bloody mattress on which Julia was murdered and has managed to ressurect her in the same way that Frank was previously resurrected.  Soon, due to the puzzle solving skills of an inmate named Tiffany, Chanard gains access to the Cenobite world.  However, his desire to experience Hell is cut short when he is betrayed by Julia and is given to the Leviathan, the being that created the Cenobites, and becomes one himself.

Yup, the Cenobites used to all be humans.  It turns out that if you're made of the right kind of mettle, rather than just subjecting you to eternal torment in the labyrinth, you get made into a creature like Pinhead and the others.  Pinhead, it is revealed, was once a soldier named Elliot Spencer.

So Kirsty enters the labyrinth once more to search for Larry, only to discover that it's been Frank trying to lure her to him again.  She barely escapes with her life, only to be attacked by the Chanard Cenobite.  Pinhead and the others protect her, but are quickly reverted to human form and killed by Chanard.  After much running around in a panic, Kirsty manages to defeat Chanard and seal the box once again, escaping with Tiffany.  The movie ends with the appearance of a large stone pillar marked with Pinhead's face, which is the important plot point that leads us into the third film.

Although inferior to Hellraiser, I still feel that Hellbound is an incredibly enjoyable horror movie.  However, it has divided fans quite greatly.  Personally, I kind of like that you find out a little more about how the Cenobites are created.  It adds depth to their characters when you discover that they were all once human.  It's kind of interesting to see them as they once were as well, as the Female Cenobite is revealed to have once been a nun, and the Chatterer as a young teen.  It makes you wonder why these people would have chosen to open the box in the first place.

However, in seeing more of the labyrinth and the nature of the Leviathan, some fans believe that the mystery surrounding the Cenobites is dispelled to fully.  In the first film, they were just the unearthly members of some mysterious religious order, but now we know who they were and how they were created all interest is gone.  While I agree that the Cenobites were interesting as mysterious creatures, I think that we have to accept that it would be difficult to stretch out this concept over an entire franchise without them becoming dull and 2-D.  Although sequels to Hellraiser, were unnecessary (as enjoyable as some of them are), sequels there are and so we should really expect there to be over all character developments for the few characters that recur through the series, such as Pinhead and Kirsty.

That said, Kirsty now will not appear again in person until Hellraiser VI:  Hellseeker, so lets move on to Hell on Earth and discover how Pinhead escapes from his...erm...pillar.

Hellraiser III:  Hell on Earth (1992)

As you can see from the dates, there's a pretty big gap between Hellbound and Hell on Earth.  I'm not entirely sure why, but as Hellbound really didn't need a sequel anyway as they killed off all of our favourite Cenobites and Kirsty got away with all of her loose-ends tied up, I guess it doesn't really matter that much.

Anyway, the film begins with the owner of a successful nightclub called the Boiler Room purchasing the Pinhead pillar from a creepy old man.  Yup, it's the Puzzle Guardian from the first film/novella who appears to now own a shop full of creepy statues.  You know that this is not going to end well.

When she happens to see a man rushed into A&E shot full of hooked chains, a tenacious reporter discovered that this mysterious accident occurred because he'd stolen an object from the creepy Pinhead pillar.  Obviously, this object is the Lament Configuration.

The reporter, who's name is Joey, begins to investigate the box and tracks it back to the Chanard Institute where she discovers tapes of Kirsty ranting about its power.  Meanwhile, the Pinhead pillar devours (yes, you read that right) a young girl at the club and Pinhead speaks to the club owner, demanding more victims so that he can resurrect himself.

Obviously, it's not long until Pinhead frees himself and appears to be more powerful than either.  Slaughtering everyone in the club, he creates himself a small army of pseudo-cenobites and sets out into the City in order to create "Hell on Earth".  Meanwhile, Joey has a dream in which she encounters the ghost of Elliot Spencer, who helpfully explains the whole plot to her.  Pinhead is so powerful because the events of the second film separated his human and demonic sides.  Now, he's no longer connected to the Leviathan and is free to do whatever he wants in the human world.  Elliot tells Joey that Pinhead will come to her because he knows that she has the Lament Configuration, and that she must somehow find a way to drag him through the the other world where Elliot is, so that he can stop Pinhead for her.

Anyway, lots of gore and running around later, Pinhead ends up inside Joey's mind and it looks very much like Joey will die a horrible, horrible death.  Elliot appears and merges with Pinhead once again to save her, and Joey manages to use the box to banish him back to the Labyrinth.  Joey buries the box in concrete and we see that, six months later, a building has been built upon this spot that bears an uncanny resemblance to the design on the Lament Configuration.  Obviously, this is the plot point that delivers us into the fourth movie.

As you can probably tell, Hell on Earth is one of my least favorite movies in the series.  Not only is it an unnecessary sequel, but it just doesn't make a lot of sense.  After two films of the Cenobites being demonic devouts, now suddenly they're little more than eloquent Freddy Kreugers.  Why can Pinhead now make Cenobites, when previously only Leviathan could?  I'd like a little more explanation than "he's now more powerful".  Does have a human aspect to your soul really dampen your powers that much?  And the Pseudo-Cenobites just look stupid.  I understand that we're supposed to be accepting that Pinhead is very resourceful, as he can create Cenobites from whatever he has to hand, but I want to find the designer/script writer/whatever that thought the Cenobite with CD's sticking out of his head was a good idea and just kick him until he falls over.

Just, why?  The good Hellraiser films are the ones that don't just focus on what the Cenobites are up to.  As you'll see when I review Inferno, I actually prefer it when the Cenobites barely appear as then they are creepy and enigmatic rather than just monsters.

Anyway, Hell on Earth, sucks.  End of review.  Onto Bloodline.

Hellraiser IV:  Bloodline (1996)

Bloodline is told over three time periods, but it roughly carries on from the ending of Hell on Earth.

It starts out on a space station in the year 2127, where Paul Merchant has just used a robot to open the Lament Configuration.  He briefly sees Pinhead appear in the sealed room where this takes place, when soldiers burst in an arrest him.  It quickly becomes apparent that he is a descendant of Philip L'Merchant, the French toymaker who originally created the box, and was in the process of destroying it.  Quickly, he tries to explain the history of the box and the Cenobites to the soldiers.

Here, the movie travels back around 400 years to when L'Merchant created the box.  He was apparently unaware of what it would be used for as he was working on blueprints given to him by the Duc de L'Isle, an aristocrat who dabbled in the dark arts.  Later, after he has delivered the box, he witnesses the Duc murder and skin a young woman and summon a demon to inhabit her skin.  It is revealed that the demon, named Angelique, is the daughter of Leviathan and will be loyal to her summoner unless he stands between her and the machinations of Hell.

L'Merchant tries to infiltrate the house to destroy the box, but he and the Duc are both murdered by Angelique and the Duc's apprentice, Jacques.  L'Merchant's pregnant wife flees, knowing exactly what the box is and what has happened.

The story then moves forwards 200 more years where we meet John Merchant, another descendant of L'Merchant who has nightmares that feature Angelique.  John lives with his wife and their young son and he works as an architect, responsible for the building that we saw at the end of Hell on Earth.  He also has some designs that L'Merchant created for a perpetual light machine called the Elysium Configuration.  We later learn that this would have been used to destroy the Lament Configuration had L'Merchant lived.

Anyway, Angelique discovers the existence of John and the building and travels to America to pay him a visit.  In the basement of the building, she discovers the Lament Box within a pillar and releases Pinhead and his pet wolf-thing, the Chatter-Beast.  He quickly also makes a Siamese-twin Cenobite out of two security guards.  It seems that Pinhead is still intent on making a Hell on Earth but they need John's assistance to do so, thus they kidnap his wife and child.  After a confrontation inside the Lament building, John is killed but his wife succeeds in sealing the Cenobites back in the box before escaping with her son.

Anyway, back on the space station.  The stupid soldiers manage to let the Cenobites out of the sealed room and they happily run amok killing almost everyone.  Paul manages to activate the Elysium device, which turns out to be the whole space station, and escapes with the one surviving soldier as the Cenobites and the box are destroyed forever.

Yeah, Bloodlines is another fairly stupid one.  Apparently, we're supposed to disregard all the stuff about the Leviathan in the second film as now Pinhead can make Cenobites too, even with his soul intact.  Nothing like plot points being utterly ignored.  It also seems that the Labyrinth definitely is Hell now, as it's where demons come from, and so it's no longer just some other dimension.

I do kind of like the idea of going back and explaining how the box was formed.  The flashback of L'Merchant was kind of interesting, though annoyingly short compared to the other sections.  I really wish that they had just made this film a prequel.  As there are no movies that are chronologically set after this one, we must assume that Pinhead and the box are utterly destroyed in this film.  The final four films are all set in present day and so it's unclear where they fit in, though the appearance of the Chatterer in the last two make one think that (unless a second Chatterer was made that looked identical to the first, which is a possibility) they must be before his death in the second film.

Like Hell on Earth, Bloodline annoyingly features the Cenobites too heavily and so loose some of their mystique.  Pinhead's new obsession with creating 'Hell on Earth' is still a plot-point, despite the restoration of his soul and so it feels like the scriptwriters just really wanted to make this story even though they had to ignore most of the other plot-points to do it.  Although better than Hell on Earth (marginally), Bloodline still remains one of my least favourite movies of the franchise.  It's a good job that the fifth film, Inferno, is far better otherwise I may have really given up on these reviews by this point...

Anyway, there's my comments on Hellraiser I-IV.  Next week, I'll post up my final review of the straight-to-DVD sequels:  Hellraiser V:  Inferno, Hellraiser VI:  Hellseeker, Hellraiser VII: Deader and Hellraiser VIII:  Hellworld.  Some of these really aren't as bad as you'd think, either...

"Sorry Miss Ryuu, we have nothing for you," spake the temp agency.  Funny, as I log onto their website and see some jobs that seem fairly suitable to me - including one that says "experience preferable, but good education more important".  I think the agency are sulking because I turned down that job they offered me yesterday.  Guess this means that if I get another one from under their noses I can be quietly smug.

I've applied for three more random office jobs today, and had a phone call from Aviva offering me an interview over the phone.  If I pass that, they'll book me in for an interview in person.  That phone interview is on Monday afternoon.  It'll either be really fun, or really scary.